• Rules for Mastering this Skill is Not Black and White – Unlike hard skills, like Math, where the rule for doing it perfectly is always the same, how effective you are at soft skill changes depends on your emotional state, external circumstance and the type of people you interact with.
• This Skill is Portable and Valuable to any Job/Career – Because soft skills are about your inner strength and interpersonal effectiveness, as long as you work with people, these skills are valuable to your career.
• Mastering this Skill is an Ongoing Journey – You can reach a level of competency in it, but you can always encounter new situations or people that will test your soft skills and push you to learn more. Some define soft skills as those that are “difficult to measure” and others define soft skills as skills that characterize relationships with other people, or which are about how you approach life and work.” There is, however, one common set of skills missing in most is the definition of soft skills.
• Most focus soft skills on people skills – how effective we are in working with others. This is absolutely important. However, what you must also master to accelerate success are self-management skills. These are skills that help you manage your relationship with your inner dialogue.

Self-management skills address how one perceives himself and others, manages his personal habits and emotions and reacts to adverse situations. Only when one builds inner excellence can have a strong mental and emotional foundation to succeed in one’s career.

• Growth Mindset – Looking at any situation, especially difficult situations, as an opportunity for one to learn, grow and change for the better. Focusing one’s attention on improving oneself instead of changing others or blaming anyone.
• Self-Awareness – Knowing and understanding what drives anger, motivates, embarrasses, frustrates and inspires you. Being able to observe yourself objectively in a difficult situation and understand how your perceptions of yourself, others and the situation are driving your actions.
• Emotion Regulation – Being able to manage your emotions, especially negative ones, at work (e.g. anger, frustration, embarrassment) so you can think clearly and objectively and act accordingly.
• Self-Confidence – Believing in yourself and your ability to accomplish anything. Knowing that all you need is within you now. “Those who believe in themselves have access to unlimited power” – wisdom from Kung Fu Panda.
• Stress Management – Being able to stay healthy, calm and balanced in any challenging situations. Knowing how to reduce your stress level will increase your productivity, prepare you for new challenges and supports your physical and emotional health, all of which you need for a fulfilling, successful career.
• Resilience – Being able to bounce back after a disappointment or set back, big or small and continue to move onward and upward.
• Skills to Forgive and Forget – Being able to forgive yourself for making a mistake, forgive others that wronged you and move on without “mental or emotional baggage.” Freeing your mind from the past so you can focus 100% of your mental energy on your near and tong-term career goals.
• Persistence and Perseverance – Being able to maintain the same energy and dedication in your effort to learn, do and achieve in your career despite difficulties, failures and oppositions.
• Patience – Being able to step back in a seemingly rushed or crisis situation, so you can think clearly and take action that fulfills your long-term goals.
• Perceptiveness – Giving attention to the unspoken cues and developing cognitive or emotional empathy of other people’s situation and perspective. Often times, we are too busy thinking about ourselves and what we are saying, we leave little room to watch and understand others’ actions and intentions. If you misinterpret other’s intention or don’t try to put yourself in their shoes, you can easily encounter difficulties dealing with people and not even know why.
• Savvy in Handling Office Politics – Being able to understand and proactively deal with the unspoken nuances of office/space and people dynamics so you can protect yourself from unfairness as well as further your career. Office politics is a fact of life. If you don’t choose to play, it can play you.
• Influence/Persuasion Skills – Being able to influence perspectives or decision making but still have the people you influence think they made up their own minds.
• Negotiation Skills – Being able to understand the other side’s motivations and leverage and reach a win-win resolution that you find favourably, satisfies both sides and maintains relationships for future interactions.
• Networking Skills – Being able to be interesting and interested in business conversations that motivate people to want to be in your network. The bigger and stronger the network you have, the more easily you can get things done (e.g., find a job, get advice, find business partners, find customers, etc.).

People Skills address how to best interact and work with others so you can build meaningful work relationships, influence other’s perception of you and your work and motivate their actions.

• Communication Skills – Being able to actively listen to others and articulate your ideas in writing and verbally to any audience in a way where you are heard and you achieve the goals you intended with that communication. This also includes language skills if the spoken language at work is your second language.
• Teamwork Skills – Being able to work effectively with anyone with different skill sets, personalities, work styles or motivation level to achieve a better team result.
• Interpersonal Relationship Skills – Effective at building trust, finding common ground, having emotional empathy and ultimately building good relationships with people at work and in your network. Also referred to as Social Skills, this skill is closely related to Communication Skills. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, you must have social graces in order to get far in your career. As Maya Angelou said -I have learned people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel.
• Presentation Skills – Effectively presenting your work results and ideas formally to an audience that captivates their attention, engage their input and motivates them to act in accordance with your desired outcome. While presentation skills are a form of communication skills, I decided to list it separately given the ability to present plays a huge role in any business profession especially as you move up in your career.
• Meeting Management Skills – Leading a meeting to efficiently and effectively reach productive results. At least 50% of meetings today are a waste of time.
• Facilitating Skills – Being able to coordinate and solicit well-represented opinions and feedback from a group with diverse perspectives to reach the best solution, mutually.
• Selling Skills – Building buy-in to an idea, a decision, a product or a service. This is not just for people in sales.
• Management Skills – Creating and motivating a high performing team with people of varied skills, personalities, motivations and work styles.
• Leadership Skills – Defining and communicating vision and ideas that inspire others to follow with commitment and dedication.
• Mentoring / Coaching Skills – Providing constructive wisdom, guidance and/or feedback that can help others further their career development.
• Managing Upwards – Proactively managing your relationship with your boss, his expectations of your work and his perception of your performance. Whether you are challenged, given opportunities or recognized at work heavily depends on your ability to communicate, manage expectations and build a good relationship with your boss.
• Self-promotion Skills – Proactively and subtly promoting your skills and work results to people of power or influence in your organization and network. It is not enough that your boss knows you do great work. You need to subtly build your reputation with all key people that can influence your performance review. This is because hard work alone does not guarantee success.
• Skills in Dealing with Difficult Personalities – Being able to still achieve the work result needed while working with someone whom you find difficult.
• Skills in Dealing with Difficult/Unexpected Situations – Being able to stay calm and still stay effective when faced with an unexpected or difficult situation. This includes being able to think on your feet and articulate thoughts in an organized manner even when you are not prepared for the discussion or situation you are in.